Memorable Quotes from Swarthmore

Updated Whenever... -

Okay, the promised Quotes Page (though it's been a long time coming...) is HERE!!!

All of the "Memorable Quotes from Swarthmore," which, until recently, were on my AIM profile. I've decided to put them on a webpage because AIM is stingy and only gives 1024 characters to people who, for reasons of creativity, need far more. So I present them herein, in all their glory:

Memorable Quotes From Swarthmore

""Are we dealing with hydrogen? Yes. Woohoo!" - me, in reference to some chemistry equation

"There's something about Ana that I definitely don't want to be on the same wavelength with." - me again

"The only difference between the democrats and the republicans is that the democrats are controlled by a slightly less scary group of special interests and corporate conglomerates." - Mini-Em, being political (again)

"Just get naked and you'll figure it out!" - me, before the Topics in Human Sexuality class

"Relationships, whether you're gay or straight, are just fucking hard work" - some random woman in our Topics class

"Yup. You found it out; I'm Jewish" - some random guy in our Topics class

"Anthropomorphic" - another random guy in Topics class

"Little boys should be able to cuddle with other little boys when they're watching Poltergeist!" - a feisty senior guy in Topics class

"It's your political statement; you don't have to be coherent." - a random person in Topics class

"Well not exactly, 'cause for me they suck equally" - ISM, describing the difference between rap and r&b

"I mean I don't have this glowing blue orb inside me." - overheard at Topics class

"Sex is a mystery." - Barry Schwartz, Psych 1 prof

"Sex is the evolutionary equivalent of free speech - you let people say what they want and eventually someone will say something useful." - Barry Schwartz, Psych 1 prof

"Grammar is not something you vote on!" - someone in Mini-Em's syntax class

"I am the doorway." - me, talking about something in the PlayStation game Chrono Cross

"You should see my theta." - me, after Mini-Em complimented my lowercase delta for chemistry homework

"Ewww? pituitary glands?" - me, studying for a Psych test

"Words are annoying; I say we abolish them altogether" - me

"It only has one clicky button." - Tiachan, commenting on an iMac mouse

"Verging? sounds like something from the 'club scene'" - Deb Bergstrand, my Calc prof.

"The mystery person is NOT the person with the stickers" - Ophelia, incomprehensible (to me) at breakfast

"Hopping discrete variables - easter bunny on a number line" - Deb Bergstrand again

"Math is full of dots" - Deb Bergstrand, referring to ellipses in sequences and series

"Thumpkin and pinky and it's three; NO!!!? sorry, it's Friday" - Deb Bergstrand, regressing to her childhood, or rather, showing off her daughter's

"You've got a car and you wash it" - Jared, explaining the concept of a car wash to ISM

"Is it Jared? No, you have real voice mail" - ISM"

Insecurity is the basis of machismo" - me, being contemplative

"There's a second degree evil" - me, awestruck, about Journey version of Snood

"That's unpleasant -- I'm talking in euphemisms" - ISM

"Don't fwck with us" - Mini-Em

"Somehow I got up and started knitting when I should've been doing my homework. It happens." - ISM

"They're over there 'studying' for 'french'..." -ISM, about the Poet Laureate and Eclecticity

"When you say 'exercise' I think 'exercise,' and then I think 'men in spandex' - Fall, during Scattergories

"Ich bin [Fall]. Jetzt will ich einen mann. Nicht [HB]." - Fall, using German to illustrate the point

"He's a short, skinny Romanian guy who tries to be GQ." - Mark, about MostlyEurotrash

"Put on the red dress!" - everyone, to Eclecticity

"You can do that in Eastern Europe" - ISM, about analyzing metaphors without understanding them

"Metaforas, meschmaforas" - Joan Friedman, Mini-Em's Spanish prof

"I SO dig the Pope!" - Eclecticity

"I am summer" - me, in response to Mini-Em's "You look like summer" about my state of dress (t-shirt, shorts, sandals)

"I'd choose Milos, because he'd enjoy it more" - Stanze, on who she'd rather sleep with

"That's what I like in an RA!" - Hester

"I can tell you about first blows" - Capitalist Bahstaad

"It's Metric; deal!" - me, on explaining the 'K' in 'MST3K'

Stanze: "No one stares at your crotch, [CB]"
Capitalist Bahstaad: "But I do, and it scares me"

"It's traditional Serbian food, though from a plastic bag" - ISM

"Most guys are horny enough to go out with anyone" - Ed

"You're an optimist. You brush away a tear so it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on" - Hollis, quoting The Rules

"The earth says 'Fuck You!'" - Ross, from the Study Skills Workshop

"Are they falling off, or something?" - me, talking about a certain unnamed person

"it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling of rising nausea" - LaurelJane, referring to the money-management tips on my high school's alumni website

"Put it away, [CB]!" -Ophelia, under, shall we say unusual circumstances

"You look like a Tequila Sunrise!" - me, about Stanze during a game of Psychiatrist

"duck, chicken, moose, oh, and other assorted waterfowl" - Fall, completely misunderstanding the term waterfowl

"Where's my ass?" - Amelia, mocking DaveJ in MoCo rehearsal

"The four cases of a relationship: nominative, dative, genitive, accusative" - Stanze, Ophelia, Mini-Em, and others

"7... 6... 5..." - Mini-Em, invoking the theory that men think about sex every 8 seconds

"It's kinda kooky" - Cheryl Grood, subbing for Deb Bergstrand in math class

"Diaphragmatically" - Ascanius

Two new majors --
"Biology and Dance" and
"Sadistics and Mathochism"

"Hahaha, hehehe, I'm [Ophelia's] insanity!" - Ophelia, inspired by the lyrics to David Bowie's "The Laughing Gnome"

"I have a ghetto booty" -me, explaining to Mini-Em that I have a big ass

"Everyone here is so fucking well read! - me, referencing Swatties in general

"Unfortunately, you are not ten feet tall, nor are you a ferret" - Hester, to me, since I was trying to poke Averil around a bookcase

"It's not necrophilia if they start out alive" - Averil, but don't go there

"Quakers are supposed to be peaceful people" - MiAe
"They're really the crack troops of Christianity" - Hollis

"I have decided which of the teletubbies is the sexiest: Dipsy. Dipsy is so the sexiest teletubby -- have you ever seen him dance? - Averil

"I would miss Ophelia if the finger quotes ate her" - Stanze upon Ophelia's quotation gesture threatening to consume her

"...to suggest some kind of rectangular-ness" -Deb Bergstrant

"I want to give the shyer, quieter folks a chance, with or without buttermilk biscuits... that's a Midwestern thing." - Deb Bergstrand, showing her origins

"There are very few people at this school I'm smarter than" - me
"That's true of most of us" - Hollis

"Is that appropriate use of 'air quotes'?" - Ed(win) the Unremarkable

"I'm eating a Girl Scout (longish pause) cookie" - Hollis
"Get rid of the cookie and I think we have a winner!" - Averil

"It's like a Cupid and Psyche thing" - Stanze, on her relationship with the Gnome

"For some reason, I've discovered that most girls dress normally" - Capitalist Bahstaad, I'm not sure of context

"Why are you talking like an Irish Jew?" - Hollis, to Fall's Main Squeeze, after his experimentation with accents

"Why is the supply curve kinky (thereby making it a kinky supply curve)?" - Philip Jefferson, Economics prof

"You can become kinky way before you cross the line" - Prof Jefferson

"Stop molesting my fucking face!" - Hollis, but I'm not sure on context...

"...affectionately known as the SOB. Except I've never heard anybody call it that..." - Deb Bergstrand, talking about the standard ordered basis

"I don't like potatoes" - Comment Guy
"'Cause you're a fucking heathen!!!" - Hollis

"'Cause I need my fucking potassium!" - Orange Julius, on why he was trying to peel a very green banana

"Correct? Oh, well it is correct -- it's a definition!" - Todd Drumm, Math 18(+)

"What could be better than a mail-order Kako?" - Raoul, overheard on ML first

"We don't do dotcoms anymore; it's like beating on a crippled person." - Mark Kuperberg, Macroeconomics prof

"He could be cute... if he were, like, attractive." - The Blond, about his little brother

"Is he a man of great girth?" - The Blond, asking Fall about Cookie

"You're so cute! I could just punch you in the face!" - The Blond (context uncertain)

"She's just a contradictory person: 'Oh, look, I can argue with that person!', JUMP!" - The Blond
"Except I don't actually say 'jump'..." - Fall, sheepishly

"They don't even go off to the bathroom -- they go to the sandwitch line." - me, to Stanze, about Fall and The Blond
"Yeah, 'hey, babe, wanna go to the toaster?'" - Stanze, mocking them

"This really looks like we're learning something -- I mean, there's like equations and everywhere!" - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"In the Middle Ages, there was this huge increase in the standard of living. Anybody know what it's called? The Black Death..." - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"There's this Confucian curse: may you live in interesting times. See, 'interesting times' are like 'interesting midterms'..." - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"No, 'cause we're like building our knowledge, see? It's like moderately cool." - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"[Averil] is all about self-gratification." - Orange Julius

"In Economics we don't have ants or grasshoppers, we just have the interest rate." - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"Here's the part of monetarism we're not going to look at, 'cause it's like antiquated and wrong." - Mark Kuperberg, Economics

"Wow, that whole Jesus thing gets you out of a lot of school, huh?" - The Blond

"Good; Jesus approves" - The Blond

I can bend my knees around like a demon!" - The Blond

"I like numbers. I like ones and zeros. And I especially like fours." - The Blond (to be said in a "nerd voice")

"You should have lived in Greek and Roman times -- they were the first ones to say 'yay, fellatio!'" - The Blond

"I'm watching you in my meta-peripheral vision" - Michael Marissen

"To use a technical term I learned from John Alston, there's one more funky-ass thing going on here." - Michael Marissen

"A constant doesn't vary that much... 6 is always 6!" - Philip Jefferson

"It would take me an awfully long time to draw an infinite number of these." - Philip Jefferson

"Then, damn, my proof sucks!" -Philip Jefferson

"Now, some people say they know the truth, but this is Econometrics, so I won't go there." - Philip Jefferson

"Most people have had more than zero years of education, even if they don't act like it." - Philip Jefferson


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